You're the guy that peaked in high school. — 9oz soy candle

A candle for people who make questionable decisions.

This 9oz soy candle comes in a black-label jar and says what everyone else is too polite to say. It smells better than the life choices that led you here.

Made with a clean, vegan soy wax blend and a 100% cotton wick, it burns slowly, evenly, and without any toxic nonsense. Available in twelve scents. Hand-poured in the USA. Minimal design. Maximum attitude.

Details

• Natural soy wax blend — vegan, non-toxic, no parabens, no synthetic dyes
• 50–60 hour burn time
• Reusable glass jar with black lid
• 12 curated scent options
• 100% cotton wick
• Hand-assembled in the USA
• Safety tested, ASTM compliant

Care

Don’t leave burning candles unattended.

Don’t put it near flammable things.

Don’t let your cat smack it off the table.